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I feel compelled to write about being snubbed by grieving moms
Yoga and grief
11/11/20232 min read
I feel compelled today to write about being snubbed twice now in the grieving moms community. There is a stigma associated with suicide, which is how Dakota may or may not have died by. (Does it really make a difference? She is gone, my heart is broken.) The first is a grief coach, who has a healing community that I wanted to join. She asked me how Dakota passed and when I told her she said she could not have me in the group. Wow, that was a slap in the face, but I like that she was straight forward on honest.
The 2nd group, who I have chosen to leave are more subtle with the digs. One lady put up a list of all our children's names, who her church was going to pray for. There are only about 12 of us in the group, and Dakota's name did not make it onto the list. I left the group and deleted my communication with them. There was also comments about my loss is different to theirs. Well, just to let you know my heart hurts as much as yours, ladies.
I also use to be a judgmental narrow minded cow, so I understand where they are coming from. Dakota opened my eyes up to a whole new reality, starting with Yoga, colour energy and the mystical side of life. She used to say, " We are all just one energy Mom."
I know Dakota is with Jesus, and that gives me peace.
Death is death. I don't believe that any of us moms' hearts hurt more than another. We are all in excruciating pain, and this is something we have to live with for our lives.
People who judge others just don't make it into my circle any more, and I certainly don't want to be part of theirs. Am I judging them by their closeted rejection of me? I hope not. I just give them grace and space and delete them from my realm. Was I hurt by being snubbed? Yes slightly, but that is why I left.
They are not my tribe, and they don't fit in with mine either.
I choose to surround myself with people that are kind and open-hearted, and not judgmental. I need a soft world to live in to protect my broken heart.
I choose to live in the light of Dakota's life, rather than wallow in the shadow of her death.
I would love to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences. Let me know in the comments.